Q: How did the flood happen?
Q: What do you call it if you eat pork by
mistake?
A: A traific accident.
Q: What type of car should you drive for a Bar
Mitzvah?
A: Datsun
Q: What do you call a Jewish Canadian?
A: Canadlach.
Q: Which cowboys are mentioned in the Adon
Olam?
A: Kid Ruchee and Bily Resheet.
Q: Why should Jewish parents always have a
small prayer book around?
A: So that they will always have a baby siddur.
Q: Why must you be careful about what you
doing
between Passover and Shavuot?
A: Because during the Omer, your days are
numbered.
Q: Why did the Angel of Death smite the
first-born of the Egyptians, but pass over the homes of the Jews?
A: The Jews were in the Non-Smoting Section!
Q: What type of car should you drive during
Pesach?
A: Either a Nisan or a Matzubishi.
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Q: How do you wish someone success on Pesach?
A: Matzah luck.
Q: What did the challah say to the matzah when
they got to the Aleynu?
A: At yeast now you could rise.
Q: What holiday food is very musical?
A: Hummin' tashen.
Q: Why was Esther such a good role model for
Jews?
A: Because her name was her motto: "Es Dear."
Q: What is the danger of making too many
hamataschen?
A: You can become stir crazy.
Q: How do you read the megillah on the
internet?
A: Just scroll down.
Q: Why is Purim fall in Adar?
A: Because it is such an Adar-able month.
Q: Who was the first woman to take a Torah out
of the ark?
A: Sue She-arim.
Q: Which Biblical character had no parents?
A: Joshua, sun of Nun.
Q: Where does one go to buy tefillin?
A: A tefillin station.
Q: Why did Moses get in trouble?
A: Because he broke all ten commandments at once.
Q: Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned
in
the Bible?
A: David, because he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit
him with a stone from a slingshot?
A: Because it had never entered his head before.
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Q: How do we know that even aliens worship G-d?
A: Because we say in the Torah service, "Gadlu
Hashem E.T.
Q: Why are the tzitzit on the tallit is like life?
A: Because it looks like everything is at loose ends, but it comes
together in the end.
Q: What do you call an 18 story condo in Tel
Aviv?
A: A Chai Rise.
Q: How do we know that they played cards in
the
ark?
A: Because we read about Noah sitting on the deck.
Q: The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top
story had a window , but how did they illuminate the bottom 2 stories?
A: They used floodlights.
Q: What is the Jewish answer to Y2K?
A: Ynot2K.
Q: What did Adam tell his children as to why they did not live
in Eden?
A: "Your mother ate us out of house and home."
Q. Where was the first tennis game played?
A. It is described in the Bible and occurred in
Egypt for Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Q: What is one of the first things that Adam
and Eve did after they left the garden?
A: They raised Cain.
Q: Which of the US states is mentioned in the
Bible?
A: Noah looked up at the "ark and saw".
Q: Why were the people of Gemorah not able to
change their ways?
A: Because they were So-dumb.
Q: Why do some rabbis eat bagels?
A: Because they are holy
Q: What is the blessing for Halloween
A: Baruch Ha Boo
Q: What do you call a sleep-walking rabbi?
A: A Wandering Jew.
Q: Who guards the Torahs?
A: The Ark angels.
Q: Where was the first baseball game played?
A: In Genesis - In the Big-inning.