We’re told that on Purim we’re supposed to get so faschnukerd that we cannot tell the difference between “Bless Mordecai” and “Curse Haman.” And in case you don’t know, faschnukerd means “drunk.” But that’s the only time during the year that our sages gave us permission to drink to excess. As a matter of fact, there is one theory that the only reason we drink but four glasses of wine on Pesach, signifying the four promises of redemption, while in fact there may well have been five promises, is so that we are able to conclude the seder without being smashed.
In Shemini, this week’s sedra, at the conclusion of the story of Nadav and Avihu, the sons of Aaron who were consumed for offering “strange fire,” we read, “Drink no wine nor strong drink, you nor your sons with you, when you go into the tent of meeting.” The fact that this verse immediately follows the incident indicates that the boys were drunk resulting in this sinful offering and the consequences thereof.
Be that as it may, there are so many commentaries indicating the painful nature of this incident. We read
that Aaron’s reaction was silence (va-yidom Aharon), but for a father to see the death of his children – for any parent, for that matter – is heart-wrenching. We’re even told that God sheds a tear when a parent must bury a child.
Might we say that God was very angry with the boys? We might. Might we also say that this story was included in the Torah to show that one must follow the statutes given by God without any question or else face the consequences, the harshness of the boys’ deaths proving the point? We might. Our literary ancestors were beyond comparison in their ability to make a point. And again, pardon me if you believe that this sacred book we call Torah was written by God and not by mortals. To me it doesn’t matter. Whether we like its contents or not, whether it was Divinely written or Divinely inspired is irrelevant…it’s a brilliant document.
Now what about Aaron’s silence? There are those who cry when there is a tragedy that befalls the family; there are those like Aaron who remain silent. Many of you either heard, or just know about, the professional mourners who are included in the funerals of many cultures in the Middle East. Yes, I said “heard” and not “heard about.” That’s because you can hear the virtually
unnatural wailing of these women who are paid to cry. I often wondered why they’re even part of the ritual. It’s probably because wailing, or at least crying, should be the natural reaction at moments like that. Let’s say, “the more the merrier,” or “the louder, the better.” But there’s no question that there are those who are like the Kennedy’s or the British Royals who keep a stiff upper lip and remain silent. For those old enough to remember President Kennedy’s funeral, we were amazed at how even the youngest children stood in silence, saluting when his casket passed them on the caisson.
Who is to say who is right in their reaction to tragedy? It’s often culturally determined. Using an example from perhaps the exact opposite situation, at my wedding it was obvious who was on the bride’s side and who was on the groom’s side. Suzy’s Eastern European relatives and friends were up and dancing; my German relatives and friends sat. That’s a cultural difference.
In the case of Aaron, knowing God’s role in this he couldn’t cry. As a commercial used to say, you don’t mess with Mother Nature and in our biblical tradition you don’t mess with God. Aaron held it in.
And what was “strange fire,” after all? It is not defined. Most likely it wasn’t the offering itself, nor the way it was
offered. It was most likely the spirit in which it was offered, the matter-of-fact nature of Nadav and Avihu, their drunken demeanor; it could have been anything. From the text we learn that Moses and Aaron didn’t know it would be refused by God so it was probably how the boys made the offering. It wasn’t from the heart…that’s what they’re telling us…and whether it was because of a drug or a drink is irrelevant. One has to be serious when in the presence of God. R’tzei Adonai Eloheinu b’amcha Yisrael, u’tifilatam b’ahavah t’ label, “Look with favor upon Your People Israel, and accept our prayers with love.”